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Old 08-23-2016, 08:37 PM   #1
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Default Resumé feedback?

Hi all. I've been cold-calling contractors and pounding the pavement as much as my current employment situation allows (a day or two every 2 weeks), and it's led to the odd lead here and there, but nothing concrete yet... A few companies have offered to take my resumé, and I've always promptly submitted it to them. So far, no call-backs, though I've been following up where appropriate every 1-2 weeks. The industry in my region does seem to be hurting, from what I've been told.

Basically, I'm wondering if anyone here would be willing to take a look at what I'm submitting and provide some feedback on what I could do to sell myself a bit better. I've attached my resumé (generally I customize the Objective section to reflect the name of the company I'm applying to). I've also attached a cover letter template. These I customize lots to reflect how I would fit with company philosophy/mission, job ad keywords, etc.

Thanks all!
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File Type: pdf R M Resume 2016.pdf (92.6 KB, 280 views)
File Type: doc Cover letter template.doc (22.0 KB, 200 views)
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Old 08-23-2016, 09:41 PM   #2
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Everything looks good to me. I would take a look at you based on that resume if I was looking for a starter.
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Old 08-23-2016, 10:45 PM   #3
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Just hire him 99!
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Old 08-24-2016, 01:24 AM   #4
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That resume looks good to me too. For a entry level first year apprentice job I'd say you are the most qualified of anyone who's going to apply for that job.
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Old 08-24-2016, 02:54 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Syntax View Post
...So far, no call-backs, though I've been following up where appropriate every 1-2 weeks...
This part I like. It shows initiative and that you're not just aimlessly tossing out resumes. If there's a job out there, there's a good chance you're the guy to get it.
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Old 08-24-2016, 07:18 AM   #6
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If Google Maps works the same in your neck of the woods as it works here, you can google "Electrical Contractors near (enter city name)" and it will give you names & addresses of EC's in that region. You could mail your resume to them. I know I'd be impressed to receive that resume unsolicited. And if I needed someone it would save me the time & cost to go find someone.
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Old 08-24-2016, 07:32 AM   #7
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Maybe I missed it but you should say that you have your tools and boots and are ready to go.
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Old 08-24-2016, 08:49 AM   #8
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Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:48 AM   #9
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I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.

The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.

Your objective should be to something like starting a career as an electrician, beginning with an apprenticeship, because you have found a compelling interest in that type of work blah blah blah - not to obtain a position, which sounds disinterested and weak, as though you are just looking for a job, not a career as an electrician.


portions which include "passion for work in trades", and references "for any portion of this document" are superfluous and overreaching. Your boss, if they hire you, is likely a dumba$$ electrician turned boss, and wants to see simple direct statements, not a dissertation. I would just list 3 good references and say more are available on request - that puts it right there (IMO).

the skills and experiece sections, in my opinion, should also be dumbed down. "Excellent communicator sounds pompous", and I would prefer to see "Good communicator and tech savvy" rather than what you listed.

the skills should be reduced. you are interested in being an electrician, so all the carpentry stuff could be reduced to "rough carpentry/drywall". no need to list it all, unless you are applying to be a handyman, not an electrician.

focus on your interest in becoming an electrician.

You asked for opinions, and just consider mine one. Don't get butt hurt - I haven't' done a resume in 30 years, so I may be out of touch with what flies these days.

good luck
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Old 08-24-2016, 02:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinninwheels View Post
Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.
Agreed, work pants and a nice button down Carhartt shirt. Neat but professional is a good presentation. A good first impression is hard to beat.
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Old 08-24-2016, 03:01 PM   #11
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I agree with what Wildleg had to say. Your wording should be clear and concise, if it comes off as highbrow you won't come off well. You objective should be plain and simple.
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Old 08-24-2016, 05:47 PM   #12
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About five years ago I used https://resumecompanion.com/ to help me with my resume. I actually had someone help me with it. Might want to check them out.
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:37 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildleg View Post
I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.

The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.

Your objective should be to something like starting a career as an electrician, beginning with an apprenticeship, because you have found a compelling interest in that type of work blah blah blah - not to obtain a position, which sounds disinterested and weak, as though you are just looking for a job, not a career as an electrician.


portions which include "passion for work in trades", and references "for any portion of this document" are superfluous and overreaching. Your boss, if they hire you, is likely a dumba$$ electrician turned boss, and wants to see simple direct statements, not a dissertation. I would just list 3 good references and say more are available on request - that puts it right there (IMO).

the skills and experiece sections, in my opinion, should also be dumbed down. "Excellent communicator sounds pompous", and I would prefer to see "Good communicator and tech savvy" rather than what you listed.

the skills should be reduced. you are interested in being an electrician, so all the carpentry stuff could be reduced to "rough carpentry/drywall". no need to list it all, unless you are applying to be a handyman, not an electrician.

focus on your interest in becoming an electrician.

You asked for opinions, and just consider mine one. Don't get butt hurt - I haven't' done a resume in 30 years, so I may be out of touch with what flies these days.

good luck
good points.

I copied and pasted this from a post I made in Vintage Sounds excellent post on becoming an apprentice...

Though I haven't hired in the electrical field, I have close to 10 yrs. experience hiring people. My only advice would be to keep it to 1 page.

Don't cram everything to make it into 1 page.

You may think some things are important to include, but it may not relate to the field.

This may seem difficult, but remember that the person looking at all the resumes may be knee-deep in them.

Don't repeat yourself.

Forget cover letters unless targeting larger companies with an HR department.

Say as much as you can in as few words as possible - brevity is key.

Use bold and/or highlighting font to organize sections/heading/etc.

Show your resume to someone in an HR/hiring position for feedback (doesn't have to be in the electrical field).

What you want, ultimately, is a job.
- the resume gets you noticed/phone call
- the phone call gets you the interview
- the interview gives you the time to fill in the blanks and sell yourself.
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Old 08-24-2016, 10:11 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 99cents View Post
Everything looks good to me. I would take a look at you based on that resume if I was looking for a starter.

...

This part I like. It shows initiative and that you're not just aimlessly tossing out resumes. If there's a job out there, there's a good chance you're the guy to get it.

Maybe I missed it but you should say that you have your tools and boots and are ready to go.
Thanks 99. I'll keep at it and probably make a few adjustments per your advice and others'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeFL View Post
That resume looks good to me too. For a entry level first year apprentice job I'd say you are the most qualified of anyone who's going to apply for that job.

If Google Maps works the same in your neck of the woods as it works here, you can google "Electrical Contractors near (enter city name)" and it will give you names & addresses of EC's in that region. You could mail your resume to them. I know I'd be impressed to receive that resume unsolicited. And if I needed someone it would save me the time & cost to go find someone.
Thanks Mike. I've tried the google maps approach, but there are just too many to manage. What I ended up doing was finding the bigger names in my area with a basic web search, looking at the list of companies affiliated with the IBEW, and keeping an eye out for vans/trucks on the road!

Quote:
Originally Posted by spinninwheels View Post
Agreed, resume looks great. In addition to what 99 said, dressing in clean work clothes can only help the employer to visualize you in the work environment.
This is a good call. Thank you. I'm working in renovation right now and my work clothes aren't the most presentable...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MechanicalDVR View Post
Agreed, work pants and a nice button down Carhartt shirt. Neat but professional is a good presentation. A good first impression is hard to beat.

I agree with what Wildleg had to say. Your wording should be clear and concise, if it comes off as highbrow you won't come off well. You objective should be plain and simple.
Thanks for the feedback!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bird dog View Post
About five years ago I used https://resumecompanion.com/ to help me with my resume. I actually had someone help me with it. Might want to check them out.
Thanks, I may just check them out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildleg View Post
I'm sorry but I don't agree with what everyone here has said so far.

The biggest flaw (to me), is your objective.

Your objective should be to something like starting a career as an electrician, beginning with an apprenticeship, because you have found a compelling interest in that type of work blah blah blah - not to obtain a position, which sounds disinterested and weak, as though you are just looking for a job, not a career as an electrician.

portions which include "passion for work in trades", and references "for any portion of this document" are superfluous and overreaching. Your boss, if they hire you, is likely a dumba$$ electrician turned boss, and wants to see simple direct statements, not a dissertation. I would just list 3 good references and say more are available on request - that puts it right there (IMO).

the skills and experiece sections, in my opinion, should also be dumbed down. "Excellent communicator sounds pompous", and I would prefer to see "Good communicator and tech savvy" rather than what you listed.

the skills should be reduced. you are interested in being an electrician, so all the carpentry stuff could be reduced to "rough carpentry/drywall". no need to list it all, unless you are applying to be a handyman, not an electrician.

focus on your interest in becoming an electrician.

You asked for opinions, and just consider mine one. Don't get butt hurt - I haven't' done a resume in 30 years, so I may be out of touch with what flies these days.

good luck
Wildleg, thank you so much for your honest and thorough response. The points you've highlighted are exactly the kinds of things I'm concerned about. In past job hunts on the "white collar" side of things, I've always been encouraged to sell myself in a way that frankly seems to be frowned upon in the trades. I asked for feedback and you provided it; I am not butthurt
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Old 08-25-2016, 04:19 PM   #15
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According to (What Color is Your Parachute ) a well respected book about job hunting and carrers if you are getting 3% acknowledgement from resumes you are doing better than most.
Also if your resume comes from a resume factory it will go directly into the trash.
No more than a page and a half on plain white typing paper
ng
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Old 08-30-2016, 03:27 PM   #16
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Hi all,

Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels
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Old 08-30-2016, 04:03 PM   #17
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Hi all,

Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels
I'd just change it to: "Good communication skills" , all the rest looks good.
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Old 08-30-2016, 05:13 PM   #18
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^^Agree with MechD^^^

Good luck in your job search. Keep us posted.
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Old 08-30-2016, 06:45 PM   #19
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I still think there's room for consolidation.

Check your emai, Reid.

The biography you posted on your ET profile sounds well done - maybe you could incorporate it (shortened) into your resume or cover letter.

good luck
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Old 08-30-2016, 10:11 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Syntax View Post
Hi all,

Here is an updated version if you care to look at it. I kept the content largely the same, did a bit of trimming, formatted it differently, and used the extra space for a references section. What do you think? @99cents @wildleg @MechanicalDVR @spinninwheels
Looks good.

If I were to tweak it, here are some things to consider...

Your qualifications/skills are crammed. I'm a big fan of well-spaced points. It makes it easy to read. It's nice to keep uniform spacing/format throughout your resume.

It's awesome that you have volunteer work to put on your resume. But in a skilled trade position, volunteering isn't typically commonplace, as in more tech/business/sciences positions.

So, if you're going to cram something - cram your volunteer.

OR

If you eliminated your last two volunteer positions, it would give you more space. I understand the second one is involved in the trades, but not necessarily expanding on an entry-level, relatable skill; and the second highlights mechanical/business aptitude. Which is great, but not necessarily automatically transferable in the eyes of the employer.

You are looking for an entry level position. Once hired, you can then expand on your business/leadership skills.

I might ditch the brewery job and add machine operator under skills. Reducing it to that would buy you at least one line.

Over the years I have had many jobs. I keep a master resume that I dump skills/education/work history into. I then copy and paste, as some points are not necessarily relevant, but nice to keep close at hand. This is something to think about considering your broad skills/work history.

Good Luck
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Last edited by spinninwheels; 08-30-2016 at 10:13 PM. Reason: syntax
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