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Old 12-29-2016, 04:17 PM   #1
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Default Joke of the Day

Two West Virginias were talking and John Boy was telling Bubba that he had to get circumcised due to problems with his pecker.

Bubba said heck I had that done when I was a day old.

John Boy asked if there were any side affects.

Bubba said well I could not walk for almost a year.
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Old 12-29-2016, 05:51 PM   #2
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A plumber and a carpenter walk into a bar. The electrician ducked.
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Old 12-30-2016, 05:15 PM   #3
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Default Amazingly simple home remedies

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Daily Thought:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

(jokes copied from I don't know where)
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Old 01-05-2017, 05:38 PM   #4
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Old 01-05-2017, 05:39 PM   #5
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Preggers?

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Old 01-05-2017, 07:56 PM   #6
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Preggers?

Yep preggers. That house is about to have a little bungalow joy!
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Old 01-05-2017, 08:00 PM   #7
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Yep preggers. That house is about to have a little bungalow joy!
Looks like a breech birth too!
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Old 01-05-2017, 08:07 PM   #8
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Preggers?

Spare juice for the outlet
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Old 01-06-2017, 07:21 PM   #9
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Yep preggers. That house is about to have a little bungalow joy!
Looks like the water is about to break!
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Old 01-07-2017, 10:27 PM   #10
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Old 01-09-2017, 04:27 AM   #11
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Old 01-09-2017, 04:28 AM   #12
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Old 01-09-2017, 12:58 PM   #13
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Now I can't get the tune out of my head.

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Old 01-12-2017, 01:01 PM   #14
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Old 01-12-2017, 03:36 PM   #15
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I'd like to say that's an example of some "good old American ingenuity" but it would not be politically correct.

Can I say "Mexican ingenuity" instead?
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Old 01-12-2017, 04:05 PM   #16
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I'd like to say that's an example of some "good old American ingenuity" but it would not be politically correct.

Can I say "Mexican ingenuity" instead?
If it were Mexicans it would be flex cuffs, no?
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Old 01-12-2017, 10:42 PM   #17
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Old 01-18-2017, 01:00 AM   #18
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One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
...
The Marine looks at the man and says,
“Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”
The old man says,
“Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine,
“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
The Marine again tells the man,
“Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”
The man thanks him and again walks away.

On the third day, the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying,
“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says,
“Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says,/
“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says,
“See you tomorrow, Sir!”
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Old 01-23-2017, 03:09 AM   #19
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Old 01-23-2017, 11:00 AM   #20
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