Joke of the Day - Page 36 - Electrician Talk - Professional Electrical Contractors Forum
CLICK HERE AND JOIN OUR COMMUNITY TODAY, IT'S FREE!
Go Back   Electrician Talk - Professional Electrical Contractors Forum > Electrician Talk Community > Off Topic (Non Trade)


Like Tree2579Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-29-2019, 06:38 PM   #701
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob-Bryant View Post
I've got hearing loss from playing guitar, constant tinnitus in one ear. The worst is when you say "what" to someone twice and they say "nevermind". Like you, sometimes after the first "what", i'll just nod and smile...and hope I'm not agreeing to something I really don't want to!

I know that how that is all too well.
micromind and Rob-Bryant like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Join Contractor Talk

Join the #1 Electrician Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

ElectricianTalk.com - Are you a Professional Electrical Contractor? If so we invite you to join our community and see what it has to offer. Our site is specifically designed for you and it's the leading place for electricians to meet online. No homeowners asking DIY questions. Just fellow tradesmen who enjoy talking about their business, their trade, and anything else that comes up. No matter what your specialty is you'll find that ElectricianTalk.com is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally free!

Join ElectricianTalk.com - Click Here JOIN FOR FREE


Warning: The topics covered on this site include activities in which there exists the potential for serious injury or death. ElectricianTalk.com DOES NOT guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information contained on this site. Always use proper safety precaution and reference reliable outside sources before attempting any construction or remodeling task!

Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-29-2019, 06:42 PM   #702
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bill39 View Post
I am in about the same boat but I tell my wife and others how I kind of like it. There is a lot out there that I just donít want to hear. For whatever reason that tends to p!ss some of them off.
Gotta love that part of it.

When I'm with family I often ignore them and say I didn't hear them.

I have far too many cousins that talk way too much.
Rob-Bryant and MCasey like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-30-2019, 09:12 PM   #703
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Microscopic
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-small-dic.jpg  

__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-31-2019, 05:30 PM   #704
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Chicken?
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-chik.jpg  

telsa, MikeFL and MCasey like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2019, 05:31 PM   #705
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

A hole factor
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-assh.jpg  

micromind, J F Go, telsa and 2 others like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MechanicalDVR For This Useful Post:
J F Go (03-31-2019)
Old 03-31-2019, 08:52 PM   #706
Government Services
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 477
Rewards Points: 2
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MechanicalDVR View Post
Gotta love that part of it.

When I'm with family I often ignore them and say I didn't hear them.

I have far too many cousins that talk way too much.
Oh really? Wait until the next time I owe you money cuz.
MCasey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2019, 12:38 PM   #707
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MCasey View Post
Oh really? Wait until the next time I owe you money cuz.

Really?
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2019, 09:36 AM   #708
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Kissin
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-kissin.jpg  

__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2019, 02:47 PM   #709
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Watched
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-watched.jpg  

micromind, tjb, telsa and 3 others like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2019, 03:03 PM   #710
Senior Member
 
MikeFL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 5,284
Rewards Points: 2,668
Default

Recently someone on here said "Oh ever since they got caught the CIA doesn't snoop on everything Americans do now, they have the Brits do it and we spy on the Brits and then swap that info too... and the Canadians are spied on by ...."
__________________
Michael Gookin, President
GPS Timers

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

(833) GPS-TIME
MikeFL is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2019, 03:18 PM   #711
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sacramento, California
Posts: 13,681
Rewards Points: 25,606
Default

Actually, the Brits prefer to use the Canadians this way.
telsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2019, 09:34 AM   #712
Senior Member
 
MikeFL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 5,284
Rewards Points: 2,668
Default

Now this is funny!

https://twitter.com/i/status/1113251528423428096
__________________
Michael Gookin, President
GPS Timers

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

(833) GPS-TIME
MikeFL is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2019, 08:16 PM   #713
Senior Member
 
jbfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Bobby Dodd Staduim
Posts: 3,307
Rewards Points: 100
Default

Found this obituary.

Tim Schrandt, age 63, of Spillville, IA died on Friday, March 29, 2019 at Gundersen Health System in LaCrosse, WI after a short battle with cancer.
A funeral service will be held at 11:00 a.m., Thursday, April 4, 2019 at the St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church in Spillville with Deacon Pat Malanaphy presiding, burial will be in the church cemetery with full military rites.
Visitation will be from 3:00 – 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, April 3, 2019 at the St. Wenceslaus Catholic Church in Spillville and also after 10:00 a.m. at the Church on Thursday morning.
Tim Schrandt (Lynyrd) made his last inappropriate comment on March 29, 2019. If you are wondering if you may have ever met him, you didn't -because you WOULD remember. For those of you that did meet him, we apologize, as we're sure he probably offended you. He was world renowned for not holding back and telling it like it is.
Tim was born to William (Bill) Schrandt and Mary (Schrandt) Manning on June 11,1955 - 100 years too late. Given Tim's demeanor he would have been the perfect weathered cowboy in the old west or rough and tough pioneer, or maybe he just should have been Amish.
Tim was the 4th of 8 kids, the bottom rung of the top tier (the big kids). Instead of taking his place on that rung, listening to the older kids and doing as he was told by his older siblings, he decided to anoint himself "king" of the 4 little kids. Tim spent his childhood and early adulthood ordering them around and in general, tormenting them. He was a great orator, (not like Shakespear, but more like Yogi Berra), as he always had something to say,
and always had to get in the last word.
His position as "king" and orator was challenged by the nuns at St. Wenceslaus school in Spillville. He may have met his match. We’re not saying the nuns won, but they put up a good fight, we mean literally - he got into a fist-a-cuff with a nun. In fairness, she probably started it. You didn't take a swing at Tim and not expect one back. Tim's fondness for authority (his own - not others) followed him to South Winneshiek High School in Calmar and later into the Army. This provided for many interesting episodes and stories, detentions and demotions, and a few "run ins" with the law, not just locally, but globally.
Tim worked at Camcar/Stanley Black and Decker in Decorah as a tool and die maker for 30 plus years. Tim worked with many friends and “a bunch of morons”. His words, not ours. Well not exactly his, words because that would have included a bunch of swear words.
Tim leaves behind a hell of a lot of stuff that his family doesn't know what to do with. So, if you are looking for a Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine (you Catholics know what we’re talking about) you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.
Tomorrow would be fine.
In addition to his stuff he leaves behind two great boys who he was extremely proud of, Cody (Jenny) Schrandt and Josh (Lydia) Schrandt were the product of his marriage to Crystal Hilmer. He will be missed by his two granddaughters that he adored and taught to cuss, Peyton and MacKenna. Also left to keep the stories alive (but damn, there won"t be any new material) are his mother Mary Manning and siblings Mike (Rita Dixon) Schrandt, Marty (Clint) Berg, Becky Schrandt-Miles, Bill (Grease) Schrandt, Pam (Rick) Barnes, Peter (Sandra) Schrandt and many nieces, nephews and cousins that wanted to hang out near him, because you just knew he was going to say or do something good. It’s not that he was such a great storyteller, it’s that he WAS the story!
To his siblings amazement he was actually able to snag a good woman, Cheryl Murray, and hold on to her for the past 13 years, and as far as we know restraints were not used. Tim also created great memories and stories for Cheryl’s kids Alex (Christina) Murray and Samantha (Evan) Luedking and grandkids Tatum and Grace.
He will be having a reunion with his infant daughter Ashley, his brother Duke, his dad Bill Schrandt, many aunts and uncles and a handful of cousins that passed before him. Tim was in charge of getting the beer and ice for our family reunions, so they will be happy to see him.
A common line in obituaries is “He never met a stranger”, in Tim’s case he never met a rule he couldn’t break, a boundary he couldn’t push, a line he couldn’t cross and a story he couldn’t stretch. Another common obituary phrase is “He’d give the shirt off his back”, well Tim was prepared to do that, and he could do it quickly, because he always wore his shirts
unbuttoned ĺ the way down. Tim was anything but common!
Despite his crusty exterior, cutting remarks and stubbornness, there is actual evidence that he was a loving, giving and caring person. That evidence is the deep sorrow and pain in our hearts that his family feels from his passing.
Tim led a good life and had a peaceful death - but the transition was a bitch. And for the record, he did not lose his battle with cancer. When he died, the cancer died, so technically it was a tie! He was ready to meet his Maker, we're just not sure "The Maker" is ready to meet Tim.
Good luck God!
We are considering establishing a Go-Fund-Me account for G. Heileman Brewing Co., the brewers of Old Style beer, as we anticipate they are about to experience significant hardship as a result of the loss of Tim"s business. Keep them in your thoughts.
J F Go, telsa and canbug like this.
__________________
"The problem isn't that Hillary Clinton lies. We all know she lies. The problem is that her supporters don't seem to care"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
jbfan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2019, 08:19 PM   #714
Senior Member
 
jbfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Bobby Dodd Staduim
Posts: 3,307
Rewards Points: 100
Default

So the story goes like this:
15 March 1952 the USS Wisconsin(BB-64) received its first direct hit ever! Now mind you the Wisconsin has 6 Battle Stars! The hit came from a North Korean 152mm gun battery to the Wisconsin’s starboard 40mm mount shield.

The Wisconsin responded only like a Battleship would, they fired a full 16in salvo, now this is nine, 9, 16in guns firing simultaneously!! Of course the North Korean gun battery laid in ruins.

Before continuing with its previous mission the Wisconsin received a broadcast message from its escort, the USS Buck(DD-761) which contained just two words; “Temper, Temper.”
micromind, telsa and trentonmakes like this.
__________________
"The problem isn't that Hillary Clinton lies. We all know she lies. The problem is that her supporters don't seem to care"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
jbfan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2019, 08:21 PM   #715
Senior Member
 
jbfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Bobby Dodd Staduim
Posts: 3,307
Rewards Points: 100
Default

A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low, obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his beer.
"What's up, John?" asked the farmer. "Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop."
"Now John, things could be worse," said Bob.
"How do you figure?" asked John.
"Well, John - you know my 'ornery cow, Bessie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept flicking her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the rafter. Then, the nasty thing wentand kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me!
But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall.Well wouldn't you just know it...my damn pants fell down."
"And John, if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you.
__________________
"The problem isn't that Hillary Clinton lies. We all know she lies. The problem is that her supporters don't seem to care"
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
jbfan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-08-2019, 05:39 PM   #716
Electrical Contractor
 
wcord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 3,782
Rewards Points: 1,520
Default

Too funny
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?sto...ng.com%2F&_rdr
MikeFL, Rob-Bryant and TheBigAndy like this.
__________________
Nothing is to be gained by arguing with fools.
Nothing can be gained by reasoning with ignorant people.

Last edited by wcord; 04-08-2019 at 05:43 PM.
wcord is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to wcord For This Useful Post:
MikeFL (04-08-2019)
Old 04-13-2019, 12:21 AM   #717
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Mistaken:

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2019, 12:35 PM   #718
Bilge Rat
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Fernley, Nevada (near Reno)
Posts: 6,472
Rewards Points: 2,554
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MechanicalDVR View Post
Mistaken:

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.

He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. "I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
It's really sad but stuff like this happens way too often.

It's people like this battle-axe who give the rest of us, who are trying to live a Godly life, a bad name.

Most people assume the we're all like that......we're not. Only the hypocrites get noticed, the rest of us just go on about life and do the best we can.
MechanicalDVR, tjb, telsa and 1 others like this.
micromind is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2019, 03:14 PM   #719
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by micromind View Post
It's really sad but stuff like this happens way too often.

It's people like this battle-axe who give the rest of us, who are trying to live a Godly life, a bad name.

Most people assume the we're all like that......we're not. Only the hypocrites get noticed, the rest of us just go on about life and do the best we can.
A good friend that is on the fence about belief sent it to me just to bust my horns.
micromind likes this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2019, 12:18 AM   #720
Old Grumpy Bastard
 
MechanicalDVR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: "Old Dominion"
Posts: 58,849
Rewards Points: 102
Default

Master
Attached Thumbnails
Joke of the Day-master.png  

micromind and Rob-Bryant like this.
__________________
I'm as Christian as possible in the times we live in.

Always just a stallion in a china shop
MechanicalDVR is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Gems of the Trade MechanicalDVR General Electrical Discussion 11569 Today 04:19 PM
Electrical Joke Of The Day MechanicalDVR Off Topic (Non Trade) 580 09-07-2017 09:33 PM
Well Boys Bad Electrician Off Topic (Non Trade) 107 06-06-2016 10:05 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:56 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Our Pro Sites Network
ContractorTalk.com | DrywallTalk.com | HVACSite.com | PaintTalk.com | PlumbingZone.com | RoofingTalk.com