I live in San Francisco, I've failed the aptitude for local 6, 617 & 332, I studied for the test for months. I signed up for a electrical technology program offered at a college, once you complete the program you will earn a degree & qualify to take the exam to become a electrician, unfortunately the college doesn't have any type of networks to obtain field experience. I did well in the math for electricians course at the college, it covered algebra, geometry & even some calculus, I also got ok grades in the english classes I had in college. I did get the opportunity to work for a contractor for several months, I worked under a foreman electrician, I learned so much while working at that company, but I got laid off because work slowed down. I applied to the armys interior electrician program, when I meet the staff sgt. I thought they were going to tell me further details about the program & the army, I did expect to take the ASVAB, it's similar to the aptitude test, I scored an 88, the passing electronic score is 93. I was unprepared for the ASVAB test, I considered applying again, but I might feel homesick, I would be enlisted & may get deployed. I have a degree in social & behavioral science because I had completed so many courses trying to find something to stick with that I earned enough credits to graduate, I studied visual arts in hs & really enjoyed it, I was able to get a semester fee waived at an art college because they were impressed by my art portfolio. I enjoyed creating art, but I was worried about finding a stable & well paying job & getting stuck in debt from tuition. I tried healthcare as well, but those programs are just as much or even more competitive than getting accepted into an apprenticeship. Sorry if I'm going on a rambling rant, I've just been struggling with depression & suicidal thoughts elementary school, been in & out of therapy as long as I could remember, I was feel like every failure no matter how small it is like it's the end of the world, I feel like I failed in life. I'm the baby in my family out of 6 siblings, I feel like most of my siblings have got their lives put together. I've come to realize that's true for a few of them, 2 of my siblings had career changes & became cops in the late 20s & early 30s, I'm not sure how one of brothers is doing last time I heard he was couch surfing & almost homeless. My oldest sister, in her late 30s is a commercial bus driver, but she still ask to borrow money from me because the cost of living is insane in my area & my oldest brother is in his mid 40s, he's an engineer, but he just managed to buy a fixer upper house & is still paying off his tuition. I've been working as a cashier fulltime at my current job for 5 years, I've considered becoming a supervisor or manager, but my superiors told me they can't stand their jobs & some of them quiet after a few months or years. My living situation isn't bad, I make $16 something an hour, my mom moved in with me, I'm grateful my 2 bedroom apartment with a small backyard is based off 30% of my income & my landlord pays the water bill. I want to accomplish more in my life, move out of my current apartment because my neighborhood has a high homicide rate, but I get what I pay for. I'm surprised I graduated from high school & received a degree from college, my parents weren't their physically or emotionally for me & couldn't help me with my homework in elementary school.