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Being talked down to by those who've been in the trade.

11K views 60 replies 37 participants last post by  Lemus"TheDon"Navarro 
#1 ·
Is it the norm for those who've been in the trade for awhile to go out of their way to make you the newbie who's only been in the trade for a few years feel like crap any chance they get?

Just wondering if this was your experience coming up in the trade as well? Of course I'm not perfect but I do bust my ass at work, always try to show up at least a 5-10 mins early, I never complain to the other guys at work. Might not be great when it comes to remembering certain concepts and have to sometimes write stuff down but once I've done something a few times I normally kick ass at it.

For the most part everyone seems pretty happy with my work performance, just a few people I work under in the trade no matter how hard I try to do the right thing just look down upon me and go out of their way to try to tear me down. Should I just accept this and write it off as they have the "asshole big brother syndrome"? :bangin:

Looking for a few pointers here and curious to hear if any of you went through the same thing when you were up and coming in the trade. Need the moral support when I'm beating myself up like this.

Thanks.
 
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#2 ·
Unfortunately, there is a lot of that.

Some of it is entirely good-natured but if someone ain't used to it, it can come across badly. When somebody says grow thicker skin, it's usually about that stuff because it's a part of life in the trades and never really goes away.

And there are also a lot of miserable pricks out there: They ate chit as an apprentice so they'll be damned if you ain't gonna eat chit too.
 
#5 ·
It seems most shops have one or two miserables who're so dead inside that they only find enjoyment in berating others. Usually they delight in seeing you fume and struggle to hold back words in your own self defense. If you're young and without the knowledge of how to play upon their insecurities, it's a tough lesson to endure. But remember it for the future to handle the unavoidable situations and to not perpetuate the cycle of pettiness when you become the old hand.

For now don't give them any satisfaction, laugh off the small stuff and bring other non-hostile co-workers in on those mishaps for them to share a laugh of recognition. But your antagonists likely will misintrepret the levity. Soon the bullies then predictably over-extend themselves to cull you, whom they perceive as weak. That's when the fun begins and the golden memories get made.
 
#9 ·
About half way through my apprenticeship I changed my reaction,
especially with foreman. They said anything critical and I'd reply
with the same thing "Ya, I'm no good at this, you should lay me
off." Say it calm and quiet. Let's them know you're not concerned
about their approval.
P&L
 
#18 ·
I think a fairly large number of people in this trade honestly don't know very much about it. They tend to hide behind the 'tough guy' image so you don't question them enough to realize how little they actually know.

Also, I think a lot of people got into the trades because there wasn't anything else to do. They hate it. And, like any coward, they take it out on those who cannot defend themselves.
 
#28 · (Edited)
Yeah it does. I ended it by throwing a dolly :laughing:at the guy.
I should also mention , this particular guys only concern was his self.
He was a back stabbing little #@$$% who ratted on anyone any chance
he got and the prick boss loved him for it. He was not the mentoring
type. This was a non union shop , which to me means "cut throat
work atmosphere"....so I thought I'd do the teaching that day.
 
#12 ·
B.Jenkins;2826538 1 - said:
Is it the norm for those who've been in the trade for awhile to go out of their way to make you the newbie who's only been in the trade for a few years feel like crap any chance they get?

2 - Just wondering if this was your experience coming up in the trade as well? Of course I'm not perfect but I do bust my ass at work, always try to show up at least a 5-10 mins early, I never complain to the other guys at work. Might not be great when it comes to remembering certain concepts and have to sometimes write stuff down but once I've done something a few times I normally kick ass at it.

3 - For the most part everyone seems pretty happy with my work performance, just a few people I work under in the trade no matter how hard I try to do the right thing just look down upon me and go out of their way to try to tear me down. Should I just accept this and write it off as they have the "asshole big brother syndrome"? :bangin:

4- Looking for a few pointers here and curious to hear if any of you went through the same thing when you were up and coming in the trade. Need the moral support when I'm beating myself up like this.

Thanks.
1 - Quite normal.
2 - Most journey men have been thru this.
3 - Again this is normal
and most journey men have been thru it.
4 - You have to accept that you have a lot of learning to do,
this usually involves a pecking order, suck it up, toughen up
and bear it, IT IS WORTH IT ! some of these journey men have
a life time of experience and knowledge that is VERY valuable
which they will pass on to you as they think you are ready.
BELEIVE ME, ITS WORTH IT !

If you want to be a GOOD electrician accept a few years
of uncombforibleness.
again IT IS WORTH IT !
 
#17 ·
Under standing is what is valuable !
Not just rote learning.
And there's a fine line between being right
and being a smart arse !
If you want to correct a journey man ?
Be real tactfull about it !
Cause he can make your job hell !
How many journey men enjoy being corrected
by a trainee ?
 
#19 ·
Hell, I was a carpenter's helper before electrical and them guys were no saints to helpers either. I think it is just a human nature thing, I see it in all the trades, and I'm pretty sure most Orthodontists give the residents a rough time in the beginning too. .... .. .
 
#21 ·
Masons are the worst I've seen. Brutal with their trainees.
 
#22 ·
one thing ive seen in ALL the trades is there is that one(or more) asshole that just doesnt cut any slack! but for the most part, the guys that give the newbies minor static are just trying to feel them out, to see what they will take. hang tough and most will eventially accept and help you. just dont take everything they throw at you! prove youre not nutless!(or whatever):rolleyes:
 
#23 ·
There just trying to toughen you up. If not and there douchebags use there negative reinforcement as motivation that when your are in the position that you don't do the same, however a lil backbone and sense of humor go along way, my old JM use to tell me "if I ever stop giving you ****, then you better get worried.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#34 ·
The people that do the harassing are just showing their lack of education and insecurity. There are a bunch of dumbA$$es out there. A lot of them wind up in construction, and like it or not, we all deal with them.
 
#35 ·
Well I went thru it !
it was not pleasant at times,
But I thought is was worth a little uncomfortableness,
To learn a trade I really enjoyed (still do)
So yes in most cases IT IS WORTH IT !
whats funny is I still know them all,
and get on really well with them.
You have to earn respect !
 
#36 ·
Is .....
For the most part everyone seems pretty happy with my work performance, just a few people I work under in the trade no matter how hard I try to do the right thing just look down upon me and go out of their way to try to tear me down. Should I just accept this and write it off as they have the "asshole big brother syndrome"? :bangin:


Thanks.
It is always hard, when someone expresses this, to know if the person has really been harassed, or if that person is just too sensitive. Also, when you are the one being nitpicked, it is hard to know if the person doing the nitpicking is trying to help you be better at your job, or just nitpicking.

I've trained guys at doing a bunch of different stuff, and, unfortunately, it is always a balancing act to try to keep to the positive, while at the same time pointing out things they could be doing better, especially when it is for their sake, (and not your own !) As a trainer, you have to remember to give positive reinforcement, and when you are training, and at the same time you are under a deadline, the positive reinforcement is often thrown to the wayside.

As a trainee, you need to remember that, and you also need to keep your eyes on the ball. Accept that this is a job, you are a trainee, and if someone criticizes your work, , before you get an attitude, just simply consider what the person has said, and if it is something that can make you better at your job. It is a job, you are getting paid to do it, and the better you get the more money you can make, etc. Concentrate on being the best (quality), accuracy, avoiding mistakes, being quicker, laying out better, organizing better, planning in advance, (the list is endless). If you keep this in mind, and are just about the work, and not your ego, almost nothing that anyone says to you will ever go to the place that you indicated in your post.

As others said, there are always guys that are just dogging you, but if you keep your eyes on the ball, you will almost never, ever, need to respond to them in a negative way. In fact, one of the best responses to someone that is criticizing your work is to acknowledge that maybe they are right and you will try to do it their way, and even ask for better instruction at it. That will usually weed out the aholes from those who are just trying to help you as well, and often evoke a positive response.

good luck, and here's a bit of advice I found on the internet

 
#37 ·
It is one thing to be condescending ,another to be simply corrective.

My apprenticeship had a 2nd yr ex-seebee who has failed over 50% of his class for over 30 years now.

He runs both 2nd & 4th , through his attrition 4th assumes about 20% of what walks into 1st yr.

He's had more complaints put to the state in his name than any other in the program

Yet the 'pass Jman first time' rate has soared due to him

I hated the guy , yet ran into him recently and thanked him

~CS~
 
#38 ·
One of the best moments of my life was when someone I had hired a few years before I left a construction management job called me a couple of years after I left. He called me to thank me, saying he was the man he is today because of me. WOW. I pushed for quality work above all else, but he had what it took to be what he was, I just gave him a nudge and I told him it was really all him. Still, it was a nice phone call.
 
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