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Married In The Trade

14K views 24 replies 18 participants last post by  FaultCurrent 
#1 ·
Just wondering how others out there handle their family life and raising kids while in the trade? Seems like often (at least where I work) an 8 hour work day turns into 11 with traveling to and from the job. 10hrs turns into 13, and so on. Most jobs are 1 1/2 hours away and further. Most traveling time is uncompensated, using our own vehicles, on our own dime as well.

Looking to find out if this is common throughout the trade, and how you balance it all. Your input would be welcome, and thanks.
 
#2 ·
Well, a distant memory for me now ... I have 2 grandkids now :thumbsup:
I always spent the weekends and whatever weeknights I could with my kids (i have 3)
I ALWAYS took summer vacation time at a rented cottage with them.
Basically, I ditched my friend time to spend with my kids:)
The friends that were 'really' friends are still in my life... and so are all my kids
 
#3 ·
Some of it comes down to how good your relationship is. I run the business, army of one, and am taking some time off in the next couple of weeks to be with family and have some down time. My wife home schools the girls and takes time for herself on evenings with massage, or time with friends. As EMT nut says, the friends I grew up with and are still close with have all the same time constraints and we go out for a few beers when we can.
 
#10 · (Edited)
Often the 4 hour travel time is part of where you live. It is not at all uncommon for blue color and many white collar workers in the DC area to live 60-100 miles away.

In DC Metro area a $600,000 house can be had for $375,000 out to the far reaches of the compass.


When I first went into business all my employees lived around the DC Beltway, now they mostly live 60+ miles outside the Beltway. Had an apprentice commuting 110 miles a day, though we did work with him to get him a ride over 1/2 the way.

With traffic that can be a 2-2.5 hour commute.


Even in DC area the average commute can be an hour which makes for a 10 hour day.

So making blanket statements as many do here about drive time, wages, taxes, cost of housing...... is not always wise without knowing all the facts.

As for the OP;

Life has tough choices, I was starting my business and often worked 60-80 hours a week, yet I was at almost all the kids games, recitals, plays and other activities. Took off early would then work late at home Took vacations, when I was off I did stuff with the kids.

It is a fine line but someone has to work to make a family happen or one can join the masses of welfare recipients. Not many options.
 
#6 ·
With 13 years in, a small child and a wife I can tell you tha my experience has proven to be very long days, at least one on call week a month, barely time to take a lunch, etc. I've done my own thing and worked for others. Time management is tough if your good at you do. They'll use you more often. I just got home from 13 hr job for example. I saw my son for 5 min about 2 days ago. It's not uncommon .
 
#8 ·
If you are not happy with your schedule, you will need to consider a change.
I was used to working in town 7am to 3:30 PM and was usually home by 4PM.

That changed to a 9-530 when I took a job inside of the shop.
The kids were a little bit older then but it took its toll. I had to work.
They are all grown and just fine in spite of me having to work for a living.

I could have gone back to 7-330 but the money was better in the office at the time.
In retrospect, I might have kept my tools on and stayed poor
 
#11 ·
Have a wife/partner you can trust to help you make things work. I learned the hard way and was distressed for several years.

There is nothing worse than having to go to work, but still be concerned about things at home. Its no way to live.
I hope you have a great partner as this IMO is the key to happy and healthy family life.
 
#12 ·
There was a time when my kids were little that I lived in Seattle but got a huge project in Alaska for the Alyeska Pipeline, so I was gone a lot. The wife almost left me and my kids started referring to me as "that man"...

Ever since then I decided that my family life has to have priority. I turned down a few really cool projects, or got someone else to do them for me. One was an automation job for an auto parts manufacturing plant in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia). I kind of wanted that experience, but it would mean a minimum of 6 months abroad and I couldn't take my family with me. I talked my partner, who's kids were already grown, into doing that one. I don't really regret it though, that was when my youngest was just getting into hiking and nature, we spent a lot of time in the woods that year. I like those memories better.
 
#14 ·
I travel all over the west and its hard on you and you're family. I have missed some of the most important events of family life and it sucks . in turn I had this job before I met you and I had this job before you were born . this job is how I support us .

With that after 1 wife and 2 girlfriends and now I have a wife that just can deal with it .

In the morning its gonna be a 12 hour close to home 2 days of this nightmare and then on a plane 3500 miles away for 3 months!

It's what we do . The job is the job WE CHOOSE or at least I choose .
But
I love my nasty,foul,vile,disgusting,dirty,nightmare,of a job !



I should say I will give and provide all for my family at all cost , but this is how I do it !


They know what I have to do to provide them a better future .
 
#16 ·
I have a good friend that I met on a job.
He was a road hound and loved the money.
He loves his house and family and has a nice spread in the Ozarks. A very good and supportive family.
But, he can't enjoy it. He travels the world on electrical projects and is luckey to have a month or two between multi year projects.
He loves it and makes fun of me living in the big city.

I'm not thinking either one is worse than the other but, his idea of taking care of his family is different than mine.
 
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