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I own stock in FotoMat!
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Got yet another SEO spam email this morning, to which I fired off my canned reply:

"Given I receive at least 3 emails and 5 telemarketing calls a day on this matter, you are now 18,743rd in line, even if I should decide to pursue SEO optimization.

Should that day come, I will start at the beginning of the list. If, for some reason, the other 18,742 SEO companies fail, I will be contacting you in an on-going, yet futile, effort to improve my rankings."


To which I received the following response:

ah, interesting. I can't believe you are getting such requests. I think i am the first person.
 

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I think when you hit "7" to be removed from the list that just means to them "Call again in 2 hours".
 

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I own stock in FotoMat!
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My other favorite was one who called me and stated, "We're having difficulty finding your web site on the internet..."

Me: "Really, how did you get my number?"

Them: "Um, from your web site."
 

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It must be the day for it....I got a voice mail/message this a.m. "hey Bob its Tony give me a call" well I know 3 Tony's and this isn't one of their known numbers so I call thinking maybe a new customer.....well it wasn't....blah blah blah my web site has done next to nothing for me so far...really thinking it was a waste of time and cash...
 

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Most of these SEO sales are trying to sell us another portal, which in mettag language means we'd be harder to find....

~CS~
 

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I own stock in FotoMat!
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
What incentive do they have to get you ranked ahead of the hundred other electricians they sold their service to?
More money from me.

Let's say they promise to put me on the first page of Google search results. Sure, that can be done. But then, everyone else gets the same call or email. THEY end up on page one as well. So that just pushes me back down again, and I gotta pony up more $ to stay on top.

That, or they can somehow get everyone's computer to show 20,000 results per page.
 

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Tiger said:
I had fourteen telemarketer calls today. Grrrrr


I've been offered the opportunity to own my own oil well twice this week.

That and there is a potential buyer in Orlando who apparently is very eager to buy my business right now, if I would only just return his calls.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Well I just found out that I'm related to Royalty in Nigeria and they want to leave me their fortune when they die.
My Nigerian Royal family has been dying off in droves lately. Last count, I'm in line for inheriting $8.235 billion.
 

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480sparky said:
My Nigerian Royal family has been dying off in droves lately. Last count, I'm in line for inheriting $8.235 billion.
If you send me $10,000 by way of Western Union, I will process the appropriate paperwork with the Nigerian government in order to streamline the process.
 

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Microsoft has been calling me all the time, saying my computer is screwed up, but they can fix it with a credit card.

I have all Apple products!!
 

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I own stock in FotoMat!
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
If you send me $10,000 by way of Western Union, I will process the appropriate paperwork with the Nigerian government in order to streamline the process.
No thanks. I found someone on Craigslist who will do it for $7,000.:laughing:
 
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